Pageant Minute: Miss World 2012--World Fashion Designer Award Competition--The "Oh Dear"!!!

Beauty Pageant Evening Gown "Oh Dear"!

Where Is Miss Mongolia On This List? Keep Reading...

If you're an avid pageant-watcher (and if you are reading this, you probably are), you know that the 62nd Annual Miss World contest is happening in Ordos Inner Mongolia China and the Final Live Telecast will take place in a couple of weeks on August 18th.

Well kids, it's here--my Nick "Oh Dear, What was SHE Thinking?" List of Gowns from last week's Miss World 2012 "World Fashion Designer Award Competition. In the last post here on my little ol' blog, I talked about some of my favorites in the bunch. So, now...let's get to the CHA CHA, too-high SLITS, Is-This-a-National-Costume-or-an-Evening Gown?, "Big Bird" inspired Feathered MESSES:

Cha Cha Queens:

Miss Costa Rica Silvana Sanchez: No, no and NO! (I think that is UNIVERSAL in every language). I want to put a big banana-and-pineaple Carmen Miranda turban atop her head to just finish this ensemble off. That's what she is missing. Score: 4.5 (out of 10 in case you are wondering)

Miss Bosnia and Herzegovina Fikreta Husic: Havana Cuba, here I come!! Or is it Rio?? Remove those tacky hem-piped ruffles on that over-the-shoulder capelet and change those 1988 pumps, and then, maybe then, we can discuss...Score: 5.0

Miss Serbia Bojana Lecic: OK, first off: she's GORGEOUS. But this gown. Who. Puts. WIRING on the hem of a ruffled high-low gown like this? She's not a Circus Clown from Cirque du Soleil! And then, what is hanging off her shoulder? It's called EDIT! How do you say "Poor Thang" in Serbian? Score: 4.9

Miss Bulgaria Gabriela Vasileva: Little PEACH Bo Peep Stripper Fab. That's what I would call this dress. Last year's Miss World, Ivian Sarcos of Venezuela, won in something that was (somewhat) similar to this, so she probably felt "Hey, I want something like this" and told her designer to create it. Bad idea. The oversized earrings and stripper platform heels did not help. Score: 5.5

The HOOCHIE Awards Go To:

Paris and Snookie: Miss Kazakhstan and Miss Belgium

First, let's begin with Miss Kazakhstan Evgeniya Kleshina (left pic above). This red lace and feathered mermaid-style gown with silver bust cups is a HOOCHIE fab. It's NOT the Las Vegas AVN Porn Awards huney, it's MISS WORLD! Those platform heels SLAY me. So tacky. Score: 4.5

Miss Belgium Laura Beyne: I'm sure Laura is a sweet girl but why did she think Snookie from Jersey Shore was an Evening Gown Muse?  I cannot say more. Score: 4.9

She Didn't Even Try Award Miss Slovakia Kristina Krajcirova: Poly-satin strapless gathered gown with badly-constructed rippling hem.This is a gown one would see at a prom-and-bridal shop, for 75% off. Score: 4.5

  

Too Muchey Award Miss Honduras Jennifer Valle: Let's just throw everything AND the kitchen sink...into a gown. Can you just imagine if this ended up on the Project Runway catwalk in front of Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? Or on an award show red carpet? Plain and simple, it's CHONCHEE! (Latino for TACKY!). Score: 4.9

Feathered Messes:

Guadeloupe and El Salvador

Miss Guadeloupe Brigitte Golabkhan (left): is so beautiful I can't even breathe. However, she chooses to wear this black and magenta satin and feathered concoction of a gown to the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" Competition last week, and well, her beauty stock for me, just went down. Score: 5.2

Miss El Salvador Maria Luisa Vicuna (right): Too much lace, too many feathers, and then the mermaid shape. She was trying for a Beyonce-at-the-Met and well, she achieved a gown in a San Salvador Drag Show. Score: 5.0

The Bahamas and Ukraine

Miss Bahamas Daronique Young (left): I give her points for the "I'm a Mermaid Princess" look. She does look kinda HOT in this two piece ensemble. But, isn't this more of a costume than an evening gown? How many peacocks did it take to make this gown? Score: 6.0

Miss Ukraine Karina Zhyronkina (right): Let me begin by saying that she is STUNNING! She should either win Miss World 2012 or at least be on the Final podium (it's like the Pageant Olympics!). But this gown. There's something both beautiful (the sequin detail looks expensive and I like the black and blue color combination) but...the feather applique and side cut-outs on the torso, it all adds to a dress one would see atop a Gay Pride float. Score: 7.0

Rosette Queens: Indonesia and Uganda

Miss Indonesia Ines Putri Tjiptadi Chandra: If this gown was placed in front of Michael Kors on Project Runway, he'd say she looked like she was POOPING feathered rosettes. Score: 4.8

Miss Uganda Phiona Bissu:  Awww, bless her little heart. Miss Uganda's gown reminds me of those dresses that are made entirely of toilet paper... I really wish there was something more I could say. Score: 4.5

National Costume Awards:

Miss Kenya Shamim Nabil: OK, maybe I am confused. I know that the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" is about highlighting the fashion design talent of the contestant's nations. So...is this also the National Parade of Nations Costume Parade? Can it be too redundant for a "Miss Kenya" to be wearing animal print safari as an evening gown? I think even the safari tourists would run away from this. Score: 5.0

Miss Cote d'Ivoire Helene-Valerie Djouka: Because she looks so darn cute, I am giving her points. Otherwise, on any one else, this still would be a pseudo-costume mess of an orange dress. And is that an iridescent poly organza overlay?? NOOOO!!!! Score: 6.4

And My Favorite of the Group:

Miss Mongolia Bayaarma Huselbaatar: I don't even know where to begin with this one. But I'll try. Bayaarma gets MAJAH "Nick Points" in the "Bringing Out Your Inner Drag Queen" part of working a runway catwalk. This gown/costume is rather FAB in a kooky way. The headdress is very John Galliano for Dior "Tutankhamen" Collection from back in the day.  
For ALL of this, I give her my Score of 8.0. It's a MESS but a mess that makes a gay man smile.

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition Evening Gowns: The "Oh Huney!" List

Mermaid Madness, 1988 Dynasty Pouf's, a Stripper or a Pageant Contestant?...and a Peacock:

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: See below for my thoughts on her Pouf-and-Sequin Gown

Well Pageant Kids, in my last post, I wrote down all my "Nick Top Picks" from the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition, which occurred two nights ago on Wednesday at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino, site of the Final LIVE Miss USA 2012 Telecast (which is Sunday night in case y'all forgot!). As a Pageant Fan, Fashion Designer, Red Carpet commentator and brother of a sister who has been in Pageants (The Miss Venezuela Pageant, no less!), I find it is my DUTY to speak of the FAB and also NOT SO FAB on this subject which is very near and dear to my heart. So, here are my "WHY Oh Why?", "Huney it's 2012 not 1988" and "Are You a Stripper or a Miss USA?" Picks--So, Enjoy and of course, feel free to let me know YOUR thoughts--

Is it Me or Is it 1988 All Over Again?

  Eighties Fab: "Knots Landing" Actress (and Fashion DIVA!) Donna Mills at the 1988 Golden Globe Awards (left photo) and Linda Evans, John Forsythe and Joan Collins of Dynasty (right)

These following ladies--as beautiful as they may be--fall under the category of "Oh Huney, What Were You Thinking?":

Miss Kentucky USA 2012 Amanda Mertz: This strapless very fitted sequined applique bustier gown with red taffeta fitted-to-flare "Mermaid" attached skirt was just too late 80's for me. I like the shape of the gown-skirt but it's the UBER fitted/UBER boob-a-fied sequined applique corset which instantly brings it into 1988 fashion territory. If she's trying to do a "Sofia Vergara", she might want to spend the big bucks and get the design teams of Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta to help her...or at least get a designer to knock off one of those FAB Red Carpet looks.

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: Huney...what were you thinkin'? I could show this photo to someone and ask "What year is this from?" and the answer would be "Ummm, 1988!" Hands Down.  Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke is so pretty--just look at her! I just do not know how she could not have a Fashion Gay near her in the great State of Washington to help her and guide her something more chic, streamlined and modern!

Miss Florida USA 2012 Karina Brez: Oh Karina. The gown. Is. So. 1985. I am having Flashbacks of my Prom. All I want to do is give her a Corsage. Not only is the dress a mess (really, that high side slit was necessary?), the "Jersey Shore/Real Housewives of New Jersey" hair style, plus those platform stacked heels, plus the too-tight corset top section (hello rippling!), it all adds to well, not one of my favorites. Now, speaking of shoes...

Time for Sidebar #1: Those SHOES!

These...

Are Stripper heels NOT Pageant Evening Gown heels. Ladies. Learn the Difference. Please. Why can't you wear something closer to these:

I just do not understand. I understand the shoe sponsor for Miss USA is Chinese Laundry and Lord Knows I LOVE them, but I know they have some fabulous strappy and non-stripper stacked platform/heel shoes in their style Look Book that the contestants could have chosen from.

Now onto Sidebar #2: Stripper or Miss USA Winner:

The lovely--and beautiful ladies below are NOT strippers but in fact, Miss USA 2012 contestants:

While the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition had plenty of too-high leg bearing slits and cha-cha-bearing plunging necklines, these two ladies were up there in my "Oh Huney" category. Miss Georgia USA 2012 Jasmyn "Jazz" Wilkins (on the left) in the white plunging neckline...AND...ULTRA high slit...AND backless...gown---and Miss District of Columbia USA 2012 Monique Tompkins (on the right) in her gold one-shoulder very high side slit number...are on my "Stripper or Miss USA Winner?" section. And if you have to ask me why, you have a Style Problem. I guess I am an old Pageant Fuddy-Duddy but...these are NOT Miss USA-winning gowns. These are dresses that will get a Rich Russian Billionaire to come back to your Vegas Hotel room. Just saying. But maybe they will prove me wrong on Sunday night and win the entire thing and get the HIGHEST EVENING GOWN POINTS EVAH!!!! We'll see...

 But the HOOCHIE Gown Title goes to...

Miss Texas USA 2012 Brittany Booker: First off, this woman is absolutely stunning--all 5' 11" of her! She's an AMAZON! I just cannot fathom why she would wear this nude sequined overlay over a strapless micro-mini dress to compete for the Miss USA pageant. Other than to get people talking...and not in a good way. The dress makes actual strippers jealous. I really wish this beautiful woman would have called by NIKOLAKI design studio and we might have provided her with an appropriate Miss USA gown.

Finally, my Favorite: Miss Peacock...

Miss Minnesota USA 2012 Nitaya Panemalaythong: Now, that is a GOWN. For the Miss Universe National Parade of Nations. Not for the Miss USA Preliminary Competition. I give her points for going there. It's very "Flora and Fauna" and Vegas Showgirl. She's obviously having a great time wearing it. But if a celeb wore this on the red carpet--she would have been SLAMMED in a not-so-nice way.

It is one thing to love Peacocks or be inspired by their color and beauty, but to actually try to make yourself INTO an actual Peacock...for the Miss USA Pageant no less....is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! (but I think I'd like to hit the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino bar with her!!!)

Sunday Night is the Miss USA 2012 LIVE Telecast and you know I will be watching and yes, the day after...reviewing my "Best" and "Hoochies" of the Evening Gown bunch...Happy Pageant Watching!!!

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss Belarus 2012

Belarus Queen...

All Smiles: Yulia Stankovich, the new "Miss Belarus 2012" for "Miss World 2012"

On May 4th--last week--a new Belarus Queen was crowned--Miss Belarus 2012---and the winner was brunette,  20-year old Yulia Skalkovich. Yulia is from Brest, stands 178 cm (5' 10") tall and will now be representing her country at the Miss World 2012 in Inner Mongolia China (unless naked photos of her are found, or it is discovered that she is married a la Miss Dominican Republic 2012).

Crowned: The new "Miss Belarus 2012" Yulia Stalkovich (left) being crowned

The "Miss Belarus" pageant takes place--unusually enough--every two years. I guess within those two years, they use up those girls throughout various 2012 and 2013 international beauty pageants. That's my only reasoning for this--or it's too expensive to hold the contest every year. I'm sure it's not for a lack of beautiful girls. From the pics, they seem to have plenty.

Accessorized: Yulia Stalkovich "Miss Belarus 2012", during one of the costume/fashion segments of the pageant

During the evening festivities, Yulia also won the "Miss Photo" title, recognized as the most photogenic of all the contestants. Her prize award for winning "Miss Belarus 2012" was equivalent to a little over $6,000.  It might not seem like a lot (in terms of an international pageant prize money award) but maybe in Belarus it's like winning the Belarus Lottery!

The new "Miss Belarus 2012", Yulia Stalkovich (center) and her two runner up's

28 girls from different regions of Belarus participated in the contest. First Runner-Up and "Miss Sports" was 20-year-old Victoria Shavel from Homel, and the the Second Runner-Up was 21-year-old Anastasia Pogranichnaya. In case you are geographically-challenged, Belarus is a landlocked nation in Eastern Europe and a former Soviet republic. It's neighbors are Russia, Ukraine, Poland, Latvia and Lithuania.

Now, let's discuss the FASHION: The pageant had LOTS of Fashion segments in which contestants showed their best in High-end Gowns, what looked like Prom-like Gowns, quirky casual wear, and well even-quirkier "fashion wear". Take a look at these looks form the eventual winner, Yulia wore throughout the night:

Yulia Stalkovich "Miss Belarus 2012" during the pageant in different fashions--from gowns...to funky "daywear"

The contestants also had to don a "Belarus Fantasy" ensemble at one point, which had them all in high-low over-skirts, too-short mini dresses, head jewelry, and for some reason, lots of shoulder ruffling and tulle detail that was waaayyyy to 1998 for my taste:

Belarus Exotic: Contestants during one of the costume-change portions of the "Miss Belarus 2012" pageant

Speaking of 1998...Let's go even further to 1986--The Final Evening Gowns:

It was Disney Princess Heaven: Where's Mickey Mouse and will he be wearing a Boutonniere?

Check out a couple of these strapless fitted bustier-and-full gathered skirt dresses from a couple of the contestants:

I don't even know where to begin in terms of commenting on these. I feel as if I've been put in a time traveling machine and transported back to 1986 and I am at my high school prom! I want this to STOP!!! The whole pageant-girls-wearing-1986-Prom-gowns thang. It's tired, dated and oh so not fashion-forward. If any of these women wore these to a black-tie red carpet event, there would be a big "X" on them. I'm sure these girls had no choice so I am not judging them. But please, pageant organizers and pageant stylists...get it together!!! And show something more 2012, and NOT 1986.

 

Other than that--Congratulations to the newly crowned "Miss Belarus 2012" (above). You're gorgeous darling. Just don't wear a 1986-type gown to the "Miss World 2012" Finals. How do you say "pretty please?" in Belarusian and Russian??