A middle-aged farmer is driving his horse and cart home from market and sitting next to him is his bright new young wife. As they are travelling along, the horse, an old decrepit creature, stumbles. The Farmer gets down from the cart and gives it a tremendous blow on the rear, saying “That's one!”
They have travelled a few more miles and the horse stumbles again. Once more the farmer gets down from the cart and this time takes his whip to the horse, beating it quite savagely. “That's two!” he says, and climbs back on board. The bride, whilst obviously upset at his beahviour, says nothing.
After a couple more miles the horse stumbles again and the farmer gets down once more but this time he reaches for his rifle in the back of the cart and shoots the horse dead, saying “That's three!”.
His new bride can contain her horror no longer and says “Oh how could you be so cruel to that poor beast. It was doing it's best. Shame on you!”
The farmer looked at her, held up a finger and said “That's one!”
They have travelled a few more miles and the horse stumbles again. Once more the farmer gets down from the cart and this time takes his whip to the horse, beating it quite savagely. “That's two!” he says, and climbs back on board. The bride, whilst obviously upset at his beahviour, says nothing.
After a couple more miles the horse stumbles again and the farmer gets down once more but this time he reaches for his rifle in the back of the cart and shoots the horse dead, saying “That's three!”.
His new bride can contain her horror no longer and says “Oh how could you be so cruel to that poor beast. It was doing it's best. Shame on you!”
The farmer looked at her, held up a finger and said “That's one!”
You might think that is not amazingly funny but it has become something of a major joke in our household. Any time I do anything that upsets Partner-who-drinks-tea (usually some mild, jokey insult) she holds up a finger and says, threateningly, 'That's one!'
The other day, when I failed to anticipate something she was going to say or misunderstood a half spoken sentence, she said “How long have we been married?” implying I should know her by now. My response of “I assume 'too long' is not the correct answer” earned me a “That's one!”
Later that same day she muttered under her breath “What am I doing?”
My response of “I've long since ceased trying to fathom that out!” earned me an even sharper look and a “That's two!”
Then, talking about the business's balances she commented “I'm still going to be short.”
“Aye,” I said, “”there's not much chance of you growing at your age.”
I fled the room to the sound of “That's three!” and something being thrown.
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