Moon over Ireland

Mooning over Ireland

I am very torn. Should I give that terrible middle of the road crooner Daniel O’Donnell the oxygen of publicity or should I turn a blind eye to his latest awful outpouring entitled, seemingly without irony, “Moon over Ireland.” I was expecting to see a giant arse on the cover but instead there is a heavily photo shopped Daniel O’Donnell which is, of course, something entirely different.

For those of you blissfully unaware Daniel O’Donnell bears the same relationship to Irish Music as Thomas Kinkade (the artist of light!) does to Fine Art or Charlie Sheen does to Temperance. His awful, pedestrian, cloying, dross has won him an inexplicably large fan base attracted to his genre which is called Irish ‘n Country (sic).


Daniel's Mac Mansion on Cruit Island

This fan base of mush lovers consists mainly of women of all ages and he has become renowned for his friendly approach to his fans. He used to stand signing autographs for hours after concerts and everyone was always greeted with a smile. O'Donnell even had a special day of the year when he would invite his fans for tea at his home in Kincasslagh, on the Donegal coast. Those who have joined this dangerous Cult where you leave your brain at the door and accept sensory reprogramming actually think D O’D is a personal friend to them. Poor things!

Such unthinking devotion has made Daniel O’Dross a multi millionaire living in a Mac Mansion on Cruit Island Co. Donegal near where he grew up in Kincasslagh. He also owns a local hotel and a large house in Tenerife, Canary Islands where he met his wife Majella.



Cruit Island, Rosses, Co. Donegal

There is no shortage of Daniel O’Dross jokes;

The IRA captured Ian Paisley, Margaret Thatcher and Daniel O'Donnell, but they only had two bullets. So they shot Daniel O'Donnell twice just to make sure.

A 90 year old man goes up to the counter in the Virgin Megastore;

Old Man; Could I have a pack of ..........c.....c...them condoms!

Shop assistant; Sir, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but are you sure you really want condoms at your age?


Old Man; Well not really but when I got to the counter I was too embarrassed to ask for a Daniel O’Donnell CD!


My spiritual adviser's verdict - Gobshite!

Too harsh I hear you say? Well judge the toe curling dross which is “Moon over Ireland” for yourself. Note the “come all ye” technique of naming as many places as you can, the monotonous two step beat and D O’D’s painfully minimalist style whilst all the time mooning with a rictus expression at the camera. As my old buddy Liam Weldon used to say “there is a big difference between a folk singer and those who just sing folk songs.” As my spiritual adviser, Fr. Jack Hackett used to say “Arse! Women! Drink! Feck! Gobshite!

Parental Advisory; This recording may induce drowsiness. Do not play and drive at the same time.