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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Happy Monday - Now there’s a funny thing…

“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” ~Charles Schulz

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?” ~Author Unknown

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." - Gilda Radner

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and.." - Brad Ramsey

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." - Michelle Pfeiffer

"Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.” - Neil Kinnock

"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog." - Unknown

"A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be." - Unknown

"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?" - Unknown

"Anyone seen in a bus over the age of 30 has been a failure in life." - Loelia, Duchess of Westminster

“Who says ‘nothing is impossible’. I've been doing nothing for years.” ~Author Unknown

“After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.” ~ P.J. O'Rourke

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up.'" - Lenny Bruce

"Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil--and you'll never get a job working for a tabloid." - Phil Pastoret

"Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, and disposable." - Mrs. White

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