The Sacred Stump of Ireland

Look Holy!

Many non-Irish may have thought that my old buddies from Hot Press Magazine, Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews, were too far fetched with “Father Ted”, their surreal hit TV comedy of 3 Priests and a Housekeeper living on fictional Craggy Island on the West Coast of Ireland. As well as following all the traditional sitcom conventions (catchphrases, characters with extremely low IQ) the show was often like a Far Side cartoon come to life - memorably the episode where Ted, crammed into a caravan, failed to teach young Dougal about perspective by holding up a toy cow next to a real cow in a nearby field. To remind you of their mad capers here are some key quotes.

Dougal: Can I stay up tonight to watch the scary film?

Ted: Ah, no no no. The last time you stayed up to watch a scary film you ended up having to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but it wasn't even a scary film.

Dougal: Come on, Ted. A Volkswagen with a mind of its own! If that isn't scary, I don't know what is.

Father Fitzpatrick: And this is the last known photo of Herr Hitler; he's signing a few death warrants there.

Ted: Funny how you get more right-wing as you get older!

Jack: DON'T TELL ME I'M STILL ON THAT FECKIN' ISLAND!!!

Bishop Brennan: You will address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!

Ted: Hello, is that the Yin dynasty? Family, sorry, the Yin family.

Dougal: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

Well here in Ireland and not for the first time life has imitated comedy! Hundreds of people have been gathering to pay their respects to what they believe is an image of the Virgin Mary in a tree stump in Co Limerick. There have been nightly vigils in the grounds of Holy Mary Parish Church in Rathkeale after workers spotted the similarities while cutting down trees. Those visiting the site believe it depicts an image of the Virgin Mary and believers have come in their hundreds to pray and light candles.


May the Stump be with you

A spokesman for the Limerick diocesan office said the 'Church's response to phenomena of this type is one of great scepticism.' While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition,' said Fr Paul Finnerty.

Rathkeale Community Council Graveyard Committee chairman Noel White (a job to die for?) said workmen sprucing up the church land saw the image when they cut the tree. 'One of the lads said look, our Blessed Lady in the tree,' Mr White said. 'One of the other lads looked over and actually knelt down and blessed himself, he got such a shock. It was the perfect shape of the figure of Our Lady holding the baby,' he said.


How wooden thou art!

Well no wonder the Calvinists in the North laugh heartily at the “popish idolaters” in the Free State! It ill behoves the Irish Atheist (A man with no invisible means of support) to lecture the followers of the Nazarene on these matters but I thought rejection of idols and idolatry was at the heart of their belief system. When Moses came down from the mount with the Ten Commandments did he not find the Israelites worshipping a Golden Calf and ordered that the idolaters be put to death ”though they be your own kith and kin” thereby ensuring fratricide was hard coded into belief in the one God from the very start.

Still, in Ireland they have plentiful form in this matter with Marian revelations to “simple” peasants, dancing statues, weeping statues etc; but worshipping a tree trunk – Hold me back! Maybe the pagan instincts have never really died out in Ireland, indeed Brian Friel’s wonderful play “Dancing at Lughnasa” is predicated on this very proposition. The play takes place in early August, around the festival of Lughnasa, in Celtic folklore, the festival of the first fruits, when the harvest is welcomed. It highlights the tension between the strict and proper behaviour demanded by the Catholic Church, voiced most stridently by the upright Kate and the unbridled emotional paganism of the local people in the "back hills" of Donegal and in the tribal people of Uganda.

Well as is traditional in Ireland we leave the last word to the local Rathkeale parish priest Father Willie Russell. “There’s nothing there . . . it’s just a tree . . . you can’t worship a tree.” Well we can’t argue with that but thank you good folk of Rathkeale, Co. Limerick for this wonderful insight into how Man created God!